Known for its healing properties, I was gifted a raw Shungite stone. I have held it at times when I needed the support. One day I felt called to pick up this dark black stone and hold it in my hand. I had held it before but more briefly than this time. As I took the stone in my hand, I initially felt the rough and jagged edges of the stone but then my hand came across a sensation I didn’t expect - smoothness.
I began inspecting it closer and felt the contrast between the smooth vs. the rough side. I wanted to stay on the smooth side because it felt better but, at the same time, I felt guilt for neglecting the rest. I turned the stone over and saw the complexities of the rougher side. Upon closer inspection, other colors beyond the black could be seen as well as some small sparkling pieces. It almost made the smooth side seem dull in comparison.
Observing the stone prompted me to think about how I have often chosen to only show my “smooth” side to people - the one that “looks” or “feels” nicer and more comfortable. But I realized doing so has left me without complexity, without my humanity, without my story. The “rough” side of me holds so much of the richness that makes me who I am. How might people react as I reveal more of myself and slowly pull back the curtain to show the parts of me that I’ve held shame around?
What I feel I need to hide and what I might think is ugly - might others see in a different light? Maybe they’ll see the shimmer that I missed. Holding the stone with the “rough” part facing me let me connect to it more and see there was more to discover. The “smooth” side almost felt too cold now, almost callous. And I thought to myself that that’s how we form connections - by being vulnerable and letting others witness our “rougher” parts. And instead of labeling these parts “rough” perhaps they are instead complex, intricate, intriguing, unique, and truly beautiful.
Even the “smooth” side of the stone had a small jagged edge of roughness. So, even when we try to hide the parts we are ashamed of, they still find their way out without our consciousness or awareness, because they are a part of us and they too, like the rest of our parts, want to be loved and seen. They deserve just as much love and tenderness as we give our “smooth” more “likable” parts. Whether or not others accept our “rough edges,” when we reject those parts of ourselves, we are rejecting ourselves and not providing the unconditional love we so crave and yearn for. We deserve to give that to ourselves. We are worthy of that love for just being and just existing - no conditions.
I noticed that as I held the stone in my hand and moved it around, letting my fingers trace different parts of it, a couple tiny fragments came off. At first I panicked - was I damaging the stone? It made me think that as we get to know ourselves better we may shed layers or parts of ourselves. And at first that may scare us and we may panic - are we doing something wrong? Is this bad? And we may feel guilt and shame, or even feel unsafe. But sometimes we need to let go of what no longer serves us to hold onto the core of ourselves and our truth. And that’s okay.
I set the stone back down and rubbed my fingers together, feeling how the stone had left its mark on me. And that’s what we can hope for in our world. That by truly being present with ourselves and others, and allowing ourselves to be fully seen, that we can leave a mark on the world and others - allowing our interconnectedness to change one another for the better. We cannot move through this world isolated and alone because what we do has ripple effects and what others do impacts us. We are all connected. And as I picked up the stone one last time, holding it more gently than ever before, I thanked it for all I had learned, what it had taught me, and what it had shared with me. A reminder that we are never alone, to be kinder to ourselves and to others, and to use our courage to share all of who we are.
Do you struggle with showing people who you truly are? Do you hide yourself from others, fearful that if they really knew you they wouldn't like you or they would leave? Do you find it difficult to embrace all parts of who you are? These are common challenges and fears many people face. If you’d like help with any of these things, reach out to me. You deserve to be seen and to be able to shine your light bright to bring a positive impact to this world.
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