My friend offered to help me with gardening this weekend. I am no expert and tend to avoid yard work so my friend was kind enough to walk me through identifying what each plant was, including ones that I didn't realize were actually small trees. Where they were located was not a good fit for them. If I didn’t dig them out it would lead to problems for the tree and my yard.
After my friend left, I decided to attempt to dig one of the trees out. It was much smaller than me and based on its size I thought, how bad could it be? Well, about 20 minutes in I was beginning to realize how much harder of a task it was than I had previously thought.
Gardening and yard work may not be my thing, but I do have much respect and appreciation for nature and the many ways we can learn from all living things. So I was not surprised that as I spent time in the dirt, I found it was teaching me things about life.
As I dug out this tree, I reflected on its roots and how we often talk about being “rooted” in ourselves - meaning knowing who we are and standing firm in our truth and authenticity. I considered the reality that this tree started out so tiny and fragile. I was amazed by how it had grown deep roots for such a small tree over a short period of time.
As more time passed, I noticed I was getting frustrated with how hard it was to uproot the tree. Before I started the process, I had thought that I would dig for a short period of time, find the bottom of the roots and easily pull them out. Once I realized it was not going to be that simple or easy of a task, I felt like giving up. It didn’t feel worth the time and energy.
When we are firmly and deeply rooted in ourselves, it’s harder for others to “uproot” us. When we know and love who we are, it’s easier to hold onto our confidence and sense of self during challenging times. If we experience people intentionally trying to hurt us or make us doubt ourselves, there’s a greater chance those people will eventually give up on these attempts if we stay grounded in ourselves. They will most likely grow frustrated and want to give up at some point, not finding it worth the time and energy spent.
However, if we have just started to grow our roots or they are not deeply planted yet, people can easily do things that lead us to doubt ourselves, lead us to experience shame, or make us question our self-worth.
I also noticed during all of this that the roots of nearby plants had become intertwined with the roots of the tree, making it even harder to get the tree out of the ground. It reminded me how protective others can be for us. They support us, nourish us, and hold us together when we are most vulnerable. Without them, especially in times of hardships, it may be difficult to stay grounded in ourselves and in our life. Our loved ones can help remind us who we are when we feel lost or doubt ourselves.
So what are the big takeaways I got from gardening? Besides the fact it reaffirmed that my life purpose and skills do not align with gardening, I was reminded of two important things.
The first takeaway is that as we continue to learn who we are, increasingly align our behaviors to live fully authentically, and develop a deeper feeling of self-love, it’ll be much harder for others to impact our sense of self and direction. So that work to recognize and hold onto our self-worth starts with ourselves.
The second takeaway is the reminder that we are stronger together than we are apart. We were not made to live in isolation, and connection is tied to wellness. So find ways to cultivate a support system that sees who you are and not only accepts you, but celebrates you. It only starts with one other person to grow a network of people who can lift you up.
If you want help with growing your roots to feel more grounded in who you are or learning how to stay rooted in challenging times, reach out to me. I enjoy helping people discover their most authentic selves and learning how to deepen their feelings of self-worth and self-love.
Comments