2022 was one of the most difficult years of my life filled with events that easily overshadowed any good the year brought. So when the clock struck midnight, ushering in a new year, I felt somewhat relieved, hoping the change from 2022 to 2023 somehow signified the hard parts were over. New Year’s Day felt like an official changing of the tides. The problem was that, in reality, I was still carrying everything with me from 2022. The clock nor the calendar could change that and nothing could magically take away all the heaviness I was carrying.
I wasn’t sure what to do and felt I needed something more than just counting down and shouting “Happy New Year!” at midnight. I also recognized that out of the suffering from that year came significant transformation in my life, and I didn’t want to discount that either. As I thought over how to honor all that took place over that past year, I eventually came up with an idea in early January that turned into a ceremony I now plan to do every year. I’m sharing this with you in hopes that you may find it helpful to try out or use it as inspiration to come up with your own ceremony or ritual.
I broke down the transitioning from one year to the next by creating 4 lists that included:
What I wanted to let go of. These were all the emotions, thoughts, habits, behaviors, relationships, etc. that I wanted to leave behind. Things like not trusting myself, not feeling good enough, fear of the future, my inner critic, anger at others and myself for things that had happened, and guilt over what I didn’t have control over or couldn’t change.
What I felt grateful for. This was the hardest category and I could feel the avoidance coming up strong with this one. It took me most of the month of January to face this because I wasn’t sure there was much to be grateful for in a year that was maybe the worst year of my life. Because my memory focused so much on the bad I decided to go back through my calendar and look at events that happened throughout the year. I was amazed at all the good I had forgotten. I thought I would barely fill one page - that I would struggle with identifying 10 things from the year. Instead, I ended up filling up over 4 pages in my journal, writing about 70 things that I was grateful for. When I finished making the list I was shocked. It just showed how much all the emotional turmoil of the year had colored the lens of that year. I felt I lost so much that there was not much left in my life to be grateful for. I was wrong. And that was powerful in my healing from that year.
What I wanted to bring with me into the next year. Growth and transformation often come from dark times and significant struggles. That was true for me in 2022. And while there was so much I wanted to leave behind, there were also things I wanted to bring with me. 2022 brought a spiritual awakening that brought so much to my life. That year also brought a new level of vulnerability to my close relationships. In years past I had avoided being that open with my family and friends. Because of this new openness, and because of their love and care that held me during those hard times, my relationships grew closer and richer. I also reevaluated my priorities and what brought me happiness which, in turn, initiated a shift in my career that brought more joy. Finally, what felt really important to continue was a love and acceptance of myself that I had begun to discover and reclaim.
What I wanted to plant, create, or birth. Each year there may be things that you feel ready to take on or start. It can be scary but also exciting. I decided 2023 would be the year I grew a new business, built my belief in my worthiness, and made time for play, fun, and creativity. And I focused on those things throughout this past year.
After I made these lists, I felt I needed to take action to really feel the sense of letting go and starting new. So I came up with a ceremony that helped me with this process. Here are steps you can use as a guide for a similar ceremony, or feel free to create your own process:
Make a list of what you want to let go of. Then take this piece of paper and burn it or tear it up. As you watch it burn or as you tear it up, imagine these things leaving your body, mind, and life. If a specific visual is helpful you might imagine carrying a backpack filled with rocks with each rock symbolizing each item on your list you wish to let go of, and then as you review the list you might imagine taking out a rock from that backpack. If it feels helpful you can literally do this as well and feel the actual weight lifting with each thing you let go of.
Make a list of what you feel grateful for. After you write the list go through it again and let the gratitude of each item on the list fill up your body. Gratitude is more powerful when we feel it in our bodies and not just when we write it down. If you want, you can post this gratitude list somewhere or share it with someone.
Make a list of what you want to bring with you into the new year. Choose an object to represent each item to place in a jar. Go back and reread the list while placing the objects in the jar. For example, as I read each item on my list I placed a bead in a jar.
Make a list of what you want to plant, create, or birth in the new year. As you read this list add more objects in the jar. The goal is to keep adding more over the years, showing everything you are adding and growing in your life year after year.
If you decide to use a jar, it can be helpful to put it in a place where you see it every day as a reminder of what you are cultivating and growing in your life. Or you can post your list somewhere you can see it on a daily basis to help you stay focused on what is most important to you. At the end of the year, whether or not you choose to do this again, review the lists you wrote regarding what you wanted to bring with you and what you wanted to create in that year. Did you do those things? How did it go? Did anything surprise you? Did anything get in the way of doing what you wanted or hoped for?
The start of the new year can be a time of reflection and change. Even if you don’t want to do the full ceremony I outlined above, it can be beneficial to take time to review the past year and think of what lies ahead. You might even set goals for yourself for the coming year. Just remember, we need to know where we’ve come from to better understand where we are going. So make sure to reflect on the past, honoring all you’ve gone through and gained from it, before moving forward into the future. If you want help with any stuck points around transitions, letting go, and moving forward reach out to me. I’d love to chat with you and see how I might be able to help you!
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