Recently while I was doing yoga at home one morning, I found myself wanting to give up and turn the TV off. I was already having difficulty focusing on the class, my mind was distracted by all the things currently going on in my life. I was following the instructions of a yoga instructor on YouTube and as we moved into the next pose, I found it difficult for me to stay in the pose for very long. I could do it but I felt the discomfort in my body. I didn’t know how long the instructor was going to hold this pose and I didn’t know what would come next. Would it be another challenging pose or a restful pose? Would the discomfort continue or end?
I noticed anxiety creeping in. I wanted to give up, thinking it was too hard even though deep down I knew I could handle it. It was the fact that I didn’t know how long the discomfort would last. I wanted to avoid those feelings and instead I wanted comfort. I wanted movements I was used to doing and that wouldn’t challenge my muscles as much. In the end, I stuck with it and was eventually guided into a different pose I found easier. I breathed a sigh of relief, reminding myself everything is temporary.
In yoga, balance is an important concept so what we do on one side, we do on the other side. I knew we would be doing that same pose again. But I noticed that this time when the instructor guided me to the pose, I was less anxious. Why? It’s because I knew how long we would hold the pose and what would come next. I knew what to expect. I knew how long the discomfort would last. I could tell myself with more certainty that the discomfort was temporary.
Yoga can often be a great metaphor for life. And this time was no different. The experience I was having that morning reminded me of times in my life when it was hard and uncomfortable; times when I didn’t know what was coming next and I didn’t know how long the difficulties would last. During these times I could be overwhelmed with anxiety.
I am definitely someone who loves certainty. I like feeling in control, knowing what is coming next, and understanding how everything fits together. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that. Just consider the year 2020! The uncertainty that we all experienced during the COVID pandemic was challenging to say the least.
So, how can we cope during uncertain times when things feel out of our control? One way is to notice the things in your life, no matter how big or small, that you do have some control over. In yoga it’s the breath. When I find myself being challenged by a pose or movement in yoga I focus on my breathing. This also works outside of yoga. When you feel overwhelmed by an emotion, thought or situation, focus on your breathing and see if you can slow it down.
It’s also helpful to consciously pause for a moment and remind yourself that life’s moments and our emotions are temporary because everything is always changing. When we are experiencing difficult times in our lives, it is easy to believe that the situation we find ourselves in or the emotions we are feeling will last forever. That’s why it can be beneficial to challenge that belief by understanding and remembering that emotions are not permanent, that change will occur again and, therefore, shift our situation into something new.
The hardest part during difficult times may be dealing with the fear of not knowing what’s next. Will it be worse or just as bad? How will we know it’ll get better? The truth is we don't know. But it’s important to stay open to possibilities that you couldn’t imagine, and that at some point things have the potential to get better. It’s also important to notice what we pay attention to. If we only search for the bad, we will find more bad. If we search for the good, we might just find more good.
During stressful times, it’s essential we make time for rest. It’s helpful to recognize the cues in our body and in our behaviors that signal to us that we have reached or are about to reach our limits. We don’t want to run away whenever things are hard or uncomfortable, but we also don’t want to sit in the discomfort to the extent that we overwhelm ourselves. I brought that balance to the yoga experience that morning. I knew I wasn’t close to my limits, but was more wanting to avoid any discomfort. So I stuck with it and tried to breathe through it. It wasn’t easy, but I knew it’s what was best for me in the long-term - to practice challenging myself and not running away.
It can be difficult going through tough times alone so try asking for help and leaning on your support system. I was doing yoga alone that day, but if I had a friend or loved one there with me, that support might’ve carried me through the difficult pose with more ease. Maybe we would’ve laughed, maybe shared in the struggle together, or maybe they would have offered me words of encouragement. Sometimes it’s not about changing our situation, but having someone sit in the moment or discomfort with us.
So when you’re going through a hard time, reach out to others. And if you're finding yourself in a difficult point in your life and would like to see how I might be able to help you, let’s chat. Sometimes having another perspective, including from the Angels, spirit guides, and your higher self, may provide you with a new perspective without anything changing externally.
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