As the holidays grow closer, one emotion can creep in - grief. If you’ve lost someone in your life, this time of year can be filled with a mix of emotions. And it might not just include grief over the loss of someone who has passed away and transitioned on. Grief, and other emotions, may come up if we are estranged or distant from a relationship that is meaningful to us or that was once closer. We may even have grief over the loss of things other than relationships - a job, change in physical functioning or health status, or a loss in a way of life.
“Bittersweet” is a poem I wrote about the experience of grief over the loss of a loved one as time goes by. We usually don’t "get over" grief, but instead learn to live with it and find ways to honor it. If you are looking for some guidance in how to handle a loss, or would like help on how to navigate a difficult or distant relationship, reach out to me. I may be able to help you through this.
If the loss you’ve experienced is significantly impacting your life, consider reaching out to a mental health professional near you. Support and help are out there if you need it.
Bittersweet
The sadness stopped by today,
When I thought of you,
At first I fought it
Because acknowledging it wasn't something I wanted to do.
I felt I didn’t have a right
To still feel this way,
I told myself to get over it
So I could keep the guilt and grief at bay.
But the sadness was persistent,
It had a lot to say,
I realized I needed to make more time,
Make space for it to temporarily stay.
I greeted it hesitantly,
And it shared memories of you,
It talked about the now-changed future,
The one I was struggling to adjust to.
It brought up the love
That lives within my heart,
And I realized
That’s what's so painful of us being apart.
What do you do with the love
Of someone no longer near?
Instead of filling me up,
It empties out in tears.
It’s a learning experience
In the existence of bittersweet,
It’s the sadness of the goodbye,
And the happiness in the fact we got to meet,
It’s the knowing that one day when we’re both ready,
We’ll be in the moment of a new greeting so sweet.
What catches me off guard
Is that by making a temporary home
For the sadness to visit,
Is that it tells me its presence isn’t permanent.
That it stopped by to remind me,
Of what never ceases to be,
Something that will never leave,
And that’s the connection we shared and still do - the one between you and me.
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